The ramblings of an Eternal Student of Life     
. . . still studying and learning how to be grateful and make the best of it
 
 
Saturday, March 19, 2011
Personal Reflections ... Religion ... Spirituality ...

When I was 15 years old, I worried a lot about what Jesus said in the Gospels. Yea, I was a bit different from most guys my age, who mostly worried about playing sports, getting hold of contraband (cigarettes, liquor, marijuana), and getting girls to notice them and perhaps allow them into the garden of sensual delights. For a host of reasons that would require a small book to explain and a panel of shrinks to interpret, I became more and more religious just as most kids lost interest in churchgoing. I was taking the Gospels seriously, looking to them as the rulebook by which I was to live my life.

The problem with that is that Jesus set really high standards. I became increasingly worried about my ability to live up to his standards; like hey, even thinking about sex was just as much a sin as doing it! So I started going to confession a lot (that wonderful Roman Catholic ritual of having a priest listen to your sins and give you pardon, on the condition that you perform some penance – usually saying a bunch of prayers), because I was afraid of the danger of going to hell for not fulfilling the strict standards that Jesus set.

A few years later, when facing the possibility of being drafted into military combat service in Vietnam, I decided to file for conscientious objector status so that I would not violate Jesus’ blanket prohibition on taking another human life.  »  continue reading …

◊   posted by Jim G @ 7:48 pm       Read Comment (1) / Leave a Comment
 
 
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Personal Reflections ... Photo ...

As mentioned before, I am a proud member of the sangha at the Clear Mountain Zendo in Montclair, NJ. Our sensei (Dharma teacher), Carl, often emphasizes during his talks that the core theme of Zen is “this moment, right now”. That reminds me of duct tape.

Duct tape is a “right now” kind of thing. When you patch something up with duct tape, it’s today that you’re worried about; certainly not next year or next month, maybe not even next week. Duct tape keeps you going for now, but it makes no guarantees whatsoever for the future. It’s not built to last. Duct tape reflects a Zen vision of reality, in a way.

I’m not at all sure that Carl would agree with this. And I can’t imagine the great temples of Kyoto using duct tape to patch up the sitting cushions or the paper and bamboo shoji screens. But hey, Zen is becoming Americanized; and in the process, duct tape might eventually play a role in promoting awakening and awareness. I’m sure there’s a koan in the making somewhere, regarding duct tape’s versatility and it’s “in the moment” character!

PS — with all thoughts and intentions for the suffering happening now in the home of Zen, Japan.

◊   posted by Jim G @ 9:38 pm       Read Comment (1) / Leave a Comment
 
 
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Personal Reflections ...

I have memories of the long winters and huge snowfalls that happened in the early 1960s, when I was back in 1st, 2nd and 3rd grades. As soon as you went outside you were surrounded by the cold white stuff. There were huge piles of it everywhere you looked. We haven’t had winters like that since.

But actually we have. In fact this winter, just about half over now, has seen more snowfall in my area than any year in the past. We’ve already broken the record, and probably still have a handful of storms yet to go. And actually, the runner-up years were not in the early 60s; the winters of 1996 and 2004 rank 4th and 6th; 1961 comes in 7th.

So we have huge snowpiles everywhere you go. And it’s starting to seem to me like like those early 1960s winters. But the piles today must be worse than in 1961, as we’ve had two-thirds more snow this year (with more to come, most likely). So it’s probably a mind question, about how everything seems bigger when you’re a little kid. I remember the strange feeling I would get as a 5th or 6th grader when I would go into a classroom where I had 2nd or 3rd grade. Everything seemed so much smaller than I had remembered! It seemed like a doll-house version of the classroom that was locked in my 2nd grade memories.

And thus the same for the snows of yesterday. They seemed so big and awesome when I was small. Now it takes a snow monster to re-kindle that feeling. And that snow monster has finally come to New Jersey. This will be a winter to remember! (Along with what I recall as monster snowfall, from 1961).

Stay warm, everyone, and keep your chin up. Spring will get here somehow, someday. It always does. This year, we will definitely have earned it!

◊   posted by Jim G @ 10:11 pm       Read Comment (1) / Leave a Comment
 
 
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Personal Reflections ...

To start the New Year, I came up with another metaphor for my life. Or this metaphor came to me, one way or another. So what’s the metaphor? Well, my life is like a seasoning, an herb or spice. The basic idea here is to look at life and community as a feast. Just who is eating this feast? Well, I guess that we all are, in living our lives and having our many experiences. We are all at the table, and our lives are all on the plates, all mixed up together on a social basis . . . like a big soup or stew or whatnot. Got all that so far?

So, what food roles can an individual play in this big “feast of life”? Well, you can be a main course, a slab of meat (or preferably beans or tofu, given that I am a vegetarian) or a slice of apple pie. If you are a main dish, then you are in tune with life. You are noticed, you are part of the main event.

Or you can be a side dish or a sauce. You don’t get as much acclaim as the main dish, but you still have your big moments. You might also be a glass of wine or coffee. Again, you have your moment of brilliance.  »  continue reading …

◊   posted by Jim G @ 7:02 pm       Read Comment (1) / Leave a Comment
 
 
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Personal Reflections ... Science ... Spirituality ...

I wanted to share a thought that probably only occurs to you when you are get old. Well, it only occurred to me in recent years, as I am getting old. And that thought regards the winds. My thought – really a rhetorical question – is this: WHY does the wind blow so much in winter, and hardly at all during the summer? In winter it just makes you colder (and as an old guy, I don’t like to be cold). In summer, when it could do the most good (i.e., cool you down a bit), the winds hardly ever blow — at least where I live.

That’s just one of those things about the world where “serendipity” is lacking. Oh well, I guess you’ve just got to grit your teeth and pull up your collar and bear it all, until spring arrives once again.

Oh, one other interesting little observation from old age. Not from my old age, but from the old age of a Nobel Prize winning scientist. His name is Steven Weinberg,  »  continue reading …

◊   posted by Jim G @ 8:34 am       Read Comment (1) / Leave a Comment
 
 
Friday, November 26, 2010
Personal Reflections ... Socrates Cafe ...

I’ve been hanging out with a Zen sangha since the start of this year (Clear Mountain in Montclair), and it’s pretty cool. But as with all other groups, there is some group-think involved with it. Despite the Buddha’s own warning not to think a particular way just because other people are thinking it, our group –- and really, every other Buddhist group –- espouses the view that meditation is a great thing, and the more the better. One of the senior members recommended that I sit in silence at least 15 minutes each day; 30 minutes would be better.

Well, I’ll be the first to admit that sitting in silence can be a really good thing. And I try to do it on a regular basis. But as to giving up a half hour of my waking life every day . . . I dunno. There are a lot of good things to be awake for in life, if you take a positive attitude. Our days and hours and minutes are numbered; and every minute spent with eyes closed in silent isolation is a minute that could have otherwise gone to seeing, smelling, touching or otherwise experiencing something in our world. Or to doing things, including many things which need to be done in order to live a responsible and caring life. Or to reading, learning things, talking with people, etc.

So, I think that meditation is great. But as to those Zen masters who think it good to spend hours and hours seated on a cushion,  »  continue reading …

◊   posted by Jim G @ 3:40 pm       Read Comment (1) / Leave a Comment
 
 
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Personal Reflections ... Religion ...

I had an after-thought from my last blog about dancing styles and a recent British psychological study regarding same. As I said, I am a “bopper”, someone who responds to music by moving up and down. However, most of the world responds with side-to-side dancing. In my handful of ventures out onto the dance floor, I have had people explain that to me. In other words, my big-bopper dancing style did not receive a warm reception. So I stay off the dance floor now.

The study that I cited said that people who dance up and down generally have an open-minded temperament. So, that would imply that people who do NOT bop to the music are not so open-minded. And thus, it follows that they are not open-minded to dancing up and down. Thus it makes sense that I did not receive good reviews for my dancing. Given that the side-to-side shufflers are the majority, they own the world of dance. That is the social norm here in the suburban USA. No room for us boppers; no stars waiting to dance with us. Oh well, open-minded people like us can go find other things to do. So there!

I have been reading up lately on what the real Buddha actually said and taught, in the short but classic 1958 work by Walpola Rahula, “What the Buddha Taught” (this is one of those things that I do in lieu of dancing). And I’ve noticed a couple of interesting things.  »  continue reading …

◊   posted by Jim G @ 7:31 pm       Read Comment (1) / Leave a Comment
 
 
Friday, November 12, 2010
Food / Drink ... Personal Reflections ...

Just a quick follow up thought to my post yesterday on buying food. As a “foodie” with a developed personal food philosophy, I want and need things that aren’t always available in the mainstream. I’m not looking for frozen waffles, tubs of ice cream, boxes of sugar-coated cereal, microwavable pizza, bacon, Oreos, canned spaghetti and meatballs – the stuff that takes up so much space at a typical supermarket. But I’m not totally into the Whole Foods thing either.

So I have to go to more than one food stores to find everything I need. Only Whole Foods has quart-size tubs of soy yogurt, blackstrap molasses, Thai sweet rice and millet. Stop and Shop has frozen grapefruit juice and frozen blueberries. A&P has white tea and Vitamin B complex at a decent price. ShopRite has about 65% of what I use at affordable prices, but I don’t like the way that they discontinue things so quickly (e.g. the more interesting varieties of herbal tea). And ShopRite’s produce prices are ridiculous compared with the South Paterson market stores. And even though their bagels are OK, the ones at the bagel shop in Bloomfield are better and cheaper (not as fluffy, and more poppies or sesame seeds or onion on them).

There just isn’t one food store that satisfies all my needs. I guess that’s the way that I am with people too. I know a lot of wonderful people who share a variety of interests and philosophies with me. But I’ve never met anyone who shares them all. Not even close.

But who knows. Maybe somewhere out there is a food store that has it all under one roof. And maybe somewhere there’s someone who could see the whole picture of me, who could understand it all (or at least 95% of it; I’m not a perfectionist). I can dream, can’t I?

◊   posted by Jim G @ 10:45 pm       Read Comments (2) / Leave a Comment
 
 
Saturday, November 6, 2010
Personal Reflections ... Philosophy ...

Are we anything more than the sum of our fears?

Think about it. Hopefully the answer is “yes” — but not by much, if at all! The Buddhists say there is “no self”. If the self is but the sum of one’s fears, then it’s pretty much a non-entity.

So how do we go beyond being but the sum of our fears?

◊   posted by Jim G @ 9:41 am       Read Comment (1) / Leave a Comment
 
 
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Personal Reflections ... Socrates Cafe ...

Here are two brief scenes from my life from last week.

  1. The Clear Mountain Zendo on a chilly, dark and wet morning at 6:30 AM. It was Thursday, and I got up at 3:45 am and couldn’t get back to sleep. So I got out of bed a half hour early and did some meditation at the zendo. The zendo was dark but the door was open. In the sitting area, two members of the sangha were sitting, and a lone candle was burning. I joined them for the next 20 minutes. At 7 am, as the sky struggled toward an uninspired dark grey dawn, we exchanged our greetings and headed out for our daily routines.
  2. At the Socrates Cafe meeting on Tuesday night, the topic was . . . rather forgettable. Something about whether there is a plan being the human race and our individual lives. But what was interesting was a little tirade one of the older members made about the evils of a quickly changing, increasingly technology-dependent world. Mr. Jimmy said that he would rather go and live the Native American life of old . . . before the Euro Americans came and spoiled everything. He would like to live in synch with nature, as he images they did; he would rather take his lumps with nature than with health insurance regulations and credit card payment rules and IRS forms and the constant shift of modern life. There was a lady who was of Native American descent there, and she applauded his sentiment.

    Personally, I think they are romanticizing an imagined past. No doubt there was much wisdom to the ways of the Native Americans, but they were not without violence, anger, war, ego, stupidity and obnoxious characters. Both Jimmy and his Native sympathizer were in their sixties; I wonder how many Native Americans reached that age say in the 1500’s. I myself feel that it’s a nice dream, but mostly a waste of time to imagine any sort of “going back”. I believe that we just have slog along in a complex and frustrating techno-capitalist world, and keep trying to sift out what matters from all of the garbage strewn about the modern social landscape (both literally and figuratively).

Oh well, let’s see what November brings (aside from increasingly cold, blustery weather).

◊   posted by Jim G @ 4:27 pm       Read Comment (1) / Leave a Comment
 
 
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