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AN IMPERFECT VEGETARIAN MANIFESTO: It’s been about 18 year now since I stopped eating animal flesh. Well, mostly stopped. At first I didn’t give up eating fish, but about 10 years ago I did. Admittedly, I still eat clams sometimes; clams don’t seem to have any more intellectual life than a head of broccoli. But I had to give up on shrimp, as they have eyes and move around and appear to have more of a social life than I do! We all draw a line somewhere. I’m also still eating things with milk and eggs in them, but I’m trying to minimize that. For example, I recently discovered soy yogurt at the local stores (I’ll do a review soon), so I’ve reduced my moo juice intake a bit.
I will also admit to using leather products (although I have a pair of non-leather dress shoes that are pretty good, and I plan to buy more so long as Payless keeps selling them). Also, I’ve been in social and business settings where I needed to relate to a group of carnivores and thus decided not to make a scene when offered their kind of food. Chowing down together is an extremely important social ritual and when you’ve got important business to do with the unenlightened majority, sometimes you’ve gotta swallow your ethics. Today I have a job where I don’t need to socialize very much. I otherwise live a fairly reclusive life, so I haven’t had to munch on any rubber chicken or bland beef lately. Thank goodness.
Yea, I’ve generally lost my taste for meat. On those rare occasions when I’ve reunited my digestive tract with the dead flesh of some poor animal, I didn’t feel any urge to go back to that kind of eating. The problem with meat is that it’s too easy to prepare and consume. Admittedly, meat is a “complete” food, having most of the stuff we need to stay alive (but not necessarily in a healthy fashion). Just add a little starch, say a piece of bread or some fries from Mickey D’s, and you can keep on digging ditches until the sun goes down. Then add some extra fat and sugar, say a slab of cheese on top of that burger and some ice cream for dessert, and most people are in culinary heaven.
The thing about being a vegetarian is that you’re forced to work harder to get the right mix of nutrients. But in doing that kind of work, you learn to care about two very important things: taste and health. You start learning that there are other ways to have a nice dining experience without consuming a lot of fat, oil, salt and sugar – the four horsemen of the cardiovascular apocalypse. You start appreciating the textures and scents of a wide variety of grains and fruits and nuts and vegetables and legumes and spices; then you learn to combine and transform them in wonderful ways using various cooking techniques. Yea, it takes more time; I know that most people today are pretty darn busy. But the truth is that everyone makes time for what they feel is important. And if having wonderful culinary experiences every day and a healthy body to boot is important, then vegetarianism is the ticket.
Yea, I know that the big craze today is the Atkins thing; eat meat to lose weight; kill the carbs. Well, there are still a lot of arguments and disagreements regarding the wisdom of that proposition. But the bottom line is this: if you had followed the vegetarian philosophy all along, you probably wouldn’t be so desperate right now to lose weight. The enlightened vegetarian mixes carbs and proteins and spices in the right proportions so as to satiate the need for savor, and in so doing limits the role of fats, oils, sugars and salt. The carnivore seeks to satisfy the soul by injecting large quantities of such gook into the bland “meat and potatoes” at the center of his or her plate. Is it any big surprise that a whole lot of Americans are overweight these days?
There are a number of good arguments for vegetarianism. Reduction of cruelty to animals is the usual lead-off batter for the V-Team. Sure, we humans have got a whole lot of other pressing issues involving cruelty amidst our own species, but I argue that concern for the feelings of our fellow critters would help us to deal with all breeds of violence and depravity. The second argument is that vegetarian eating would make us all healthier. Given the crisis of spiraling health care costs, you’d think this argument would make people stop and think. But admittedly, there is a creepy, narcissistic side to it; recall that Hitler was a vegetarian for purposes of “body purity”.
The third theory – actually, pretty well documented – is that vegetarianism is a more socially efficient, less costly way to feed people. Perhaps in the old days, going out in the woods and hunting turkeys and deer was a cheap way of feeding hungry mouths. But in modern industrialized societies, you’ve got to feed and shelter the chickens and pigs and cows for months or years, give them antibiotics, slaughter and skin them, then refrigerate and transport their flesh for hundreds of miles. It costs a lot less per calorie or per gram of protein to grow soybeans, oats, kale, eggplant, etc. and transport them to your local supermarket. That means less use of crude oil and other energy resources, and less pollution. If everyone went vegetarian, we’d have more breathing room in terms of energy demand (as I write this, oil has gone over $55 per barrel). As such, a bit less of our national income would go to the Saudis, who quietly filter some of that money to our terrorist enemies. Our environment would also get a break.
But the fourth batter – the clean-up hitter – is taste! When you go vegetarian, you’re going to enjoy your food more. I know that it seems hard to believe; what could be better than a dripping T-bone on a smoky barbecue grill or a bacon swiss double cheeseburger, or a big browned turkey with sausage stuffing at the center of the family table on Thanksgiving, or a full rack at a ribs joint? Yea, meat has it’s peak experiences. But face it — on a day-by-day basis, most meat dishes are rather bland and uninspired. More meatloaf, more stew, more baked chicken, some pork chops, another burger, some cold cuts, frozen fillets … When you’re a vegetarian, you’ve always got a new spice to try with your black bean soup and cornbread, always have a different kind of rice to experiment with (maybe with lentils and zucchini), always have a new twist to the basic pasta-and-sauce duo, always have a new stuffing to use for acorn squash (although the basic one with apples and bread and walnuts is pretty hard to beat).
Back in 1985, when my ex-wife told me that it was time for us to stop eating meat, I immediately went out and bought three packs of chicken breasts and stuffed them into the freezer. I ultimately went along with her in an unsuccessful attempt to keep the marriage going; and in my heart, I knew she was right. But I never imagined that cooking and eating would become more exciting and satisfying once we forswore the culinary pleasures of the flesh. This is what the 97% of Americans who still base their diets around meat and fish need to know – not only will the world be better if you eat your veggies, but you yourself will be happier when meal time comes round!
Let me leave you with this imperfectly vegetarian treat: a recipe for orange muffins.
1 cup flour
1 cup oatmeal flour (put oatmeal in a food processor)
1 / 2 cup sugar
2 teaspoons baking powder
1 egg white (again, I’m imperfect – try to at least buy free-ranging hen eggs)
1 / 2 cup soy yogurt
1 / 4 cup plus an additional tablespoon, canola oil
1 / 4 cup orange juice (or orange juice concentrate, if you like it really orangey)
1 / 2 cup golden raisins
1 / 2 cup crumbled walnuts
a little bit of grated rind from an orange or lemon, maybe 1 / 2 teaspoon
Just mix it all up in a bowl, get out your muffin pan, coat the pan with oil, fill the cups about 3 / 4, and bake at 400 degrees for maybe 15 to 20 minutes. Makes about 10 or 12. These are really good for dessert or as a snack, or even for breakfast. Better than another plate of soggy bacon!