It’s Sunday and a lot of people have gone to church today to participate in services meant to worship some form of divinity. I wasn’t one of them. I haven’t attended a regular church worship service in almost ten years. In some ways I miss it. I still believe in a divinity, and there’s no reason why the divinity that I believe in doesn’t deserve my participation in a communal worship service honoring that divinity. But one of the things that turns me off about church worship, such as it is available in my community, is that it seems to be about more than just divine worship. Much more. Too much more, in my book.
Let me be honest here. It’s also a matter of personal economics. Church don’t come cheap around here. Most congregations will hit you up for money once they see you as a regular. And that’s legitimate; it costs money to heat and maintain church buildings, and hire ministers and other staff, and buy songbooks and such. But for now, my parental support responsibilities make me do cost-benefit comparisons for any major purchase I might consider. And the typical costs for belonging to a typical church just don’t outweigh the benefits, in my book.
Why not? Well, the churches (and mosques and synagogues and whatever else might be out there, including Quaker meeting houses) just don’t deliver the kind of intellectual stimulation that I’d like. I am an eternal student, after all, and the subject of God for me is not a settled one (and never will be). So there’s never a lack of thirst for intelligent things to be said about the question of God, and of how we should live our lives in light of that huge question. But most of the churches that I’ve been part of (and I sampled quite a few back when I was younger) seemed to focus on repeating the same things over and over.
Sure, someone usually gives a sermon with a few thoughts on how the ancient scriptures and confessions of faith relate to current events. But they have to walk on eggs, they can’t question whether the ancient writings and creeds might be wrong in some ways or whether someone else’s ancient writings and creeds might fit better given the issue of the day. They can’t be very open minded. And I’m not in the mood to spend scare money on closed mindedness.
And what else bothers me is the focus on “the founders” and the history of the sect. When I was hanging out with the Quakers, it was suggested that I get to know Matthew Fox and Quaker history (which I did, somewhat, as it is worth knowing about). When I was an Episcopalian, I was expected to know something about Bishop Cranmer and Anglo history. The Roman Catholics of course have their many saints and popes to learn about (but only up to a point; they don’t want the average Joe to know too much about the old popes, given some of the less-than-stellar leaders the Roman Church has had over the centuries).
And then of course there are the worship rituals and all the time and effort needed to support them. And then the basic grounds-and-facilities issues and the business stuff, like fixing the leaky boiler and balancing the budget. Then there are the social customs, the picnics and dinners and bake sales and youth activities and such. All well and good. Oh, and then also the social activism that some congregations engage in. Even better. But as to getting back to the basic question: why should we believe in God, and live our lives as though God really does exist – everyone seems almost embarrassed to consider it. As though it’s all settled, bringing it up implies lack of conviction.
Maybe the problem – or my problem anyway – is that churches are about worship, and not about ongoing existential dilemmas. Worship implies that you’ve gotten past the existential of believing in God, and are ready to start acting out your belief. At least during the hour allotted for worship services. I guess that existential dilemmas regarding faith are not easy to share and discuss and deal with. So we don’t. At least no where in my neck of the woods. And that’s too bad. I could see pulling out a twenty and losing an hour or two on a Sunday morning if there were a group format nearby that mixed discussion, learning, meditation and singing, along with comparisons of the many ancient and modern thoughts on God and faith from throughout the world, personal reflections on the crisis of belief and faith, and sharing of ways to enact faith in daily life and social life. And no requirement to memorize the founders and past history of the movement! I.e., no Moses, Mohamed, Buddha or Saint Peter to bow down to.
(The Unitarians claim that they do this, but they fail to make it to first base with me, as they don’t presume belief in God or even interest in belief in God; the latter would relate to those of us – most of us, actually – who entertain doubts amidst our hope. The Unitarians don’t even require hope for a loving divinity, you can be an atheist and be fully accepted in that community. Not my cup of tea, a bit too weak of a brew.)
So for now, I stay home on Sundays. But I maintain my hope that there’s something out there somewhere like this. A church of eternal students on the road, searching for faith within their lives.
BEER REVIEW: Here’s a quick review of two new beers currently being pushed on the masses by the giant American brewers, Budweiser and Miller. They both involve lime. I personally like lime, and I was intrigued by the notion of how limey flavors would go with beer. Well, Bud and Miller, in their infinite wisdom, decided that lime flavor would go best with a watery light beer. So they have given us Bud Light Lime, and Miller Chill. Of the two, I like Miller Chill better. It still tastes just a bit like beer; and the lime flavor is subtle, not all that far from fresh lime juice. On the other hand, Bud Light Lime tastes more like lime-flavored candy, liquid style. Too much cheap quasi-lime flavoring in it. So Miller has the better entry in the lime beer war, for now.
WEB SITE REVIEW: There are plenty of useful little web sites that you don’t notice or look at until you specifically need what these sites do. One of those sites is www.filleritem.com I came across it the other day when ordering something from Amazon and just missing the $25 threshold for free shipping. That’s when you want to know what can you buy from Amazon for a buck or two that would put you over the top and avoid the $5 or more for shipping. It’s not easy to to that directly on Amazon, as they don’t have a price-range search (which further selects out those items sold directly by Amazon; a lot of listed items are sold by affiliated vendors, and thus are irrelevant to the free shipping offer for goods purchased directly from Amazon). But filleritem.com does indeed allow such a search. Only problem: the site needs updating. Some of the cheap items listed aren’t available anymore, and others have gone up in price. I hope that they do keep this site updated; if you do business with Amazon, sooner or later you’re going to need it! (PS, there’s also www.slickfillers.net)