{"id":3120,"date":"2012-11-27T20:33:25","date_gmt":"2012-11-28T01:33:25","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jimgworld.com\/blog1\/?p=3120"},"modified":"2012-11-26T22:41:45","modified_gmt":"2012-11-27T03:41:45","slug":"pay-attention-zen-nucleosynthesis-and-life","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jimgworld.com\/blog1\/?p=3120","title":{"rendered":"Pay Attention: Zen, Nucleosynthesis, and Life"},"content":{"rendered":"

Although I consider myself a fairly serious Zen practitioner (I sit zazen for 2 hours every week at the local zendo, and I occasionally attend a mini-sesshin), I\u2019ve been remiss in attending \u201cdaisan\u201d or \u201cdoksaun\u201d, i.e. the regular face-to-face meeting with the teacher. Given how important these meetings are within the Zen tradition, perhaps the truth is that I\u2019m just not such a serious Zen practicioner; perhaps I am ultimately doing my own thing, making my own kind of Zen. Which the great Zen traditionalists would say is no Zen at all (Zen tradition \u2013 a bit of an oxymoron?). <\/p>\n

Well, my own Zen is certainly a Zen somewhat detached from the koans. I have much respect for all those enigmatic little stories, and have made effort to study and learn from them. But as to being on a traditional multi-year course of formal koan interpretation under the tutilidge of a certified teacher . . . no, that\u2019s not where I am right now.<\/p>\n

Regardless, I do feel the occasional inspiration to sign up with the sensei and make the walk over to the interview room during the 3rd or 4th sitting for a short talk. Just this past Sunday (our main zazen happens on Sunday mornings) I had something I wanted the sensei to comment on. This is the great fun of daisan . . . if the sensei takes my comment or question seriously (and he usually does, but at times he just listens in silence and offer a gesture to be still), his response is usually not predictable. He often offers a new point of view, occasionally brilliant, sometimes irrelevant, often worth further reflection. He certainly does \u201ccarry the dharma\u201d (the little “d” is intentional; as the dharma that you can speak of is not the true Dharma). He certainly seems well-steeped in what you could read of the great Japanese Zen masters of old. <\/p>\n

This past Sunday, I wanted to convey to him my frustration in understanding Zen. In a way I do understand it, as I have invested a lot of time over the past 3 years partaking in our (Americanized) Zen rituals, in discussing it with other Zen devotees, in listening to talks by our sensei and other certified teachers, in studying koans, in reading books about Zen history and wisdom, and in writing my own thoughts. I can respond to even the most mysterious koan, I can easily use Zen-talk in my daily conversation, I can sit in silence for long periods with folded legs . . . but sometimes I look back on it all and wonder, just what is all this getting at? <\/p>\n

What is Zen supposed to do for me? I know it, but I still don\u2019t feel it. Perhaps it helps me to be calmer and more focused in my daily life (a lot of people are said to experience this, but I myself don\u2019t really feel any different than before I started this practice). I enjoy sitting in silence on a regular basis with a group of other silence devotees, I enjoy the sense of community with my sangha, I have started some new and interesting friendships . . . but I still wonder sometimes, just what is this really all about?<\/p>\n

Well, the sensei was not seeing anyone this past Sunday due to an on-going construction project that made our interview room unavailable for the past few weeks. But on the way to the zendo, I thought about how to explain just what I would want to feel about Zen. I came up with a contrasting analogy to present to the good sensei . . . about how I had been listening to a Teaching Company video lecture on the formation of the universe, specifically on the topic of nucleosynthesis<\/a> (i.e., how the nuclei of atoms with their protons and neutrons were formed from the hot energy soup that resulted from the \u201cBig Bang\u201d). I had listened several times, and nothing about the lecture seemed beyond my comprehension. Everything that the learned professor had said was quite understandable. And yet, after the lecture was through, I didn\u2019t feel as though I had gained anything from his words \u2013 just why was this important? <\/p>\n

Finally, I took out the notebook that comes with the lecture and reviewed some earlier lectures. It took several hours, but I reviewed the details of the nucleosynthesis talk, thought about what they may have meant relative to some of the earlier themes \u2013 and the light bulb finally went on! Oh, now I see it \u2013 by understanding the physical processes behind atomic nuclei formation, and combining them with certain astronomic observations, you can get a good estimate on how much \u201cordinary matter and energy\u201d there is in the Universe. And that turns out to be very small compared to the overall mass-energy required to describe the Universe that we observe (non-curved, i.e. having no funky triangles with angles that don\u2019t add to 180 degrees, and expanding in all directions at a certain rate). Thus, there has to be a lot of unknown forms of matter and energy out there, stuff that we don\u2019t yet understand. I.e., dark matter and dark energy.<\/p>\n

Now the lecture makes sense. It uses some facts that we know, as to point out some very important things that we don\u2019t know. Well, knowing that you don\u2019t know something is not the gold ring, but it\u2019s still a big step up from not even knowing that you are missing something very important. It\u2019s not \u201cenlightenment\u201d, as Zen-talk goes, but it\u2019s a step in the right direction. <\/p>\n

And how did I come to this \u201cstep in the right direction\u201d? I finally paid the nucleosynthesis lecture some real attention. ATTENTION!!! That\u2019s it! Attention \u2013 a big Zen buzz-word. The great roshi\u2019s always say \u201cPAY ATTENTION\u201d. Not so much about themselves, but about . . . everything! Zen is about paying attention to life. About taking it seriously, as I finally took the nucleosynthesis lecture seriously. It\u2019s about tasting things slowly, savoring both the bitter and the sweet. It\u2019s about making the most of being alive and conscious. All the negative Zen jive, e.g. about there being no consciousness, no realm of consciousness, no ignorance, no old age and death . . . it\u2019s all just to get your attention! Take this stuff seriously (i.e., the consciousness, old age and death . . . not the Zen jive!). <\/p>\n

As the roshi\u2019s also say (to my great annoyance), DO NOT WASTE TIME!!! I\u2019ve always thought this was just a Chinese and Japanese discipline thing, just part of a somewhat heartless culture focusing on busyness and hard work and accomplishment for the sake of . . . whatever. But perhaps not; maybe they are trying to say that time is the flavor of being. Don\u2019t eat your dinner without taking time to taste it. Good or not so good, tasting your food is what life offers you. If you don\u2019t taste it, you will still get your calories and carbs and nutrition, but you are wasting the most important part \u2013 i.e. the subjective experience! If you spend your time by going through the motions necessary to keep on living, you will stay alive; but you will ultimately waste that time if you ignore or short-shrift the experiential possibilities in even the most ordinary things and moments.<\/p>\n

Bottom line, Zen is about life. Ordinary life. Nothing special life. It\u2019s a very non-specific set of rules and teachings about how to live a life, and live it well. But Zen is wise enough not to make any promises. If you do manage to live life and live it well (in the truest sense), it isn\u2019t the Zen doing that for you. It\u2019s up to YOU to do that for yourself. Zen, when it works right, just makes you think about life. (And as with every religion, too often it does NOT work right; it is often used for various alternative purposes, such as seeming hip and profound or improving your golf game.)<\/p>\n

So maybe I answered my own question? Did I find enlightenment? Did I finally taste the core of Zen? NO!!! But maybe a step in the right direction? Maybe. Once that construction project is finishes, maybe I\u2019ll see what my sensei thinks about nucleosynthesis and dark matter.<\/p>\n

PS — if Zen is so much about living life and appreciating the taste of it, including the passing of time, then why is so much Zen energy focused around sitting in silence with eyes closed, emptying the mind by counting your breath? How can that be an appreciation of ordinary life? The problem with Zen is confusing the exercises with the results that the exercises try to bring about. Sitting in silent meditation is an exercise meant to give you a taste for the most basic thing, i.e. merely being, pure existence, the thrill-less thrill of just existing. If you can appreciate that, you can appreciate all else that unfolds from it, good and bad. The problem is that most people (including most Zen teachers that I know) seem to present sitting meditation as an end in itself. No. Life is the end, sitting is just a means to develop a more sensitive palate towards life.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Although I consider myself a fairly serious Zen practitioner (I sit zazen for 2 hours every week at the local zendo, and I occasionally attend a mini-sesshin), I\u2019ve been remiss in attending \u201cdaisan\u201d or \u201cdoksaun\u201d, i.e. the regular face-to-face meeting with the teacher. Given how important these meetings are within the Zen tradition, perhaps the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[15,27],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jimgworld.com\/blog1\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3120"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jimgworld.com\/blog1\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jimgworld.com\/blog1\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jimgworld.com\/blog1\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jimgworld.com\/blog1\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3120"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/jimgworld.com\/blog1\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3120\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3122,"href":"https:\/\/jimgworld.com\/blog1\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3120\/revisions\/3122"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jimgworld.com\/blog1\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3120"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jimgworld.com\/blog1\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3120"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jimgworld.com\/blog1\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3120"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}