Unlike many people who live in my vicinity, I’ve never been through professional psychotherapy. This is not to say that I wouldn’t possibly benefit from it (and some people say that I probably need it!). But I’ve managed to get by and keep on progressing through most of my life without needing to sit down and hash things out over and over again with a shrink. I have my moods and my fears and anxieties, and I’m sure that I’ve missed some opportunities in life because of an unnecessarily negative attitude on my part. But overall, I’m just not all that unhappy (not yet, anyway). <\/p>\n
Furthermore, therapy is rather expensive. Yes, I know that many people manage to use their health insurance to pay for at least some part of their shrink-fees, but I don’t want to get involved with all of the paperwork and bureaucracy involved with such a ploy unless I’m really in bad shape. Another turn off — just how to you find a shrink that you can relate to and who can relate to you? I’ve known a handful of therapists in my life, and there are perhaps one or two I could imagine working with. But as to the others, ughhhh. <\/p>\n
Given that I don’t suffer from chronic depression and that I’m not harmfully bi-polar (hey, I have my moods, but . . .); and given that I’ve managed to hold a professional job with the same employer for the past 16 years; and further still, that I’m not abusing anything intoxicating or mind-blowing . . . given that I pay my taxes and stay out of trouble . . . well OK, all of that still doesn’t mean that I’m a totally sane and healthy individual. But as to whether any particular therapist could improve things for me . . . well, there’s an old saying, i.e. “there’s nothing wrong with my life that a million dollars or two couldn’t fix”. <\/p>\n
Lots of money is good (and I wish that I had it!), but perhaps the better thing would be a higher level of affirmation and appreciation by the people around me regarding my abilities and accomplishments. That might be the ticket. I.e. some ego gratification — make me seem important, right up there with Mr. Trump!! Or better still, a few more good, loyal and understanding friends who share a lot in common with me. It\u2019s hard to have too many of them, and too many people don\u2019t have enough. I can’t say that ‘my cup overfloweth’ with close friends at present, although I appreciate the ones that I do have. All I’m saying is that even the best therapist can’t make up for the real deficiencies that we all suffer with regard to the building blocks of a satisfying life. A therapist might help you adapt to bad stuff . . . but as to finding happiness, I think that we are all ultimately on our own.<\/p>\n
There is an interesting idea right now in the psychological field regarding happiness. All of us (well, almost all) have some moments of joy and happiness and fulfillment in our lives, however temporary and fleeting. The new theory says that people who remain psychologically healthy are those who are most grateful for the good things that did come their way in the past (and maybe still continue in the present). I.e., adjusted people have an “attitude of gratitude”. People who can “count their blessings” generally seem to feel better and have better mental health overall, even when times are tough. You can find various articles<\/a> on the importance of gratitude to mental health. <\/p>\n This brings up a question for me. I.e., what is the difference between the “attitude of gratitude” and \u201cnostalgia\u201d, i.e. the longing for a present that would be a lot like what the past seemed to be? To be grateful about life often means looking back into the past; not everyone always lives a life that they can be grateful for. There is a lot of pain and anxiety and degradation out there \u2013 sometimes just for short periods, sometimes for way too long. <\/p>\n I hang out with a bunch of Zen Buddhists (I really enjoy the sharing of quiet meditation), and I have heard all of their spiel about ending suffering and living in the moment. But to be honest, it is just as easy to do this as it is for Christians to follow Christ in loving everyone and always turning the cheek. In other words, it ain\u2019t easy at all! I agree that we should try to be grateful just to be alive, and there are moments when that works. But let’s be honest, sometimes life is just not nice. And in those moments, it can be comforting for some people (myself included) to look back to \u201cbetter days\u201d. And maybe even be grateful for them!<\/p>\n I guess that nostalgia can be a part of an attitude of gratitude, and it might even bring hope that someday the good times might return. But for some people, nostalgia is more cynical; it is a form of depression, a rejection that anything good can happen anymore. To be honest, it\u2019s a lot easier to have the positive form of nostalgia when things are still going OK in your life than it is when things aren\u2019t so good. When bad times come, thinking about a better past can just make the present seem even more depressing; i.e. the good times are really over for good (recall the Merle Haggard song<\/a> about that). <\/p>\n This kind-of hints that the whole \u201cattitude of gratitude\u201d thing is more of a measuring tool that a fix-it kit for the blues. When you\u2019re feeling grateful, it\u2019s probably because you ain\u2019t suffering (or whatever suffering you do have isn\u2019t getting the best of you). When you don\u2019t feel grateful, it usually means that things are going off the rails. Being grateful and counting your blessings is not a bad idea; sometimes it can help you put your life into context, help you get over something that you may be making too much out of. But when things get seriously bad, then all you have is nostalgia, and even that seems to turn against you. Maybe a shrink can find other things to help you feel better and get by somehow. In the end, however, the best thing is to have friends and loved ones around to support you and do things with you. Actually, psychotherapy has a name for this \u2013 i.e. \u201cbehavioral activation<\/a>\u201d. <\/p>\n So even if I have some doubts about the power of positive thinking, I\u2019m still going to try to end this discussion on a positive note. I\u2019ve had a lot of good things and good people happen to me in the past. Some of them are still here in the present. And maybe there will be some more in the future. If you can push all the bad vibes aside for a second, being alive and being conscious is still a privilege. And hey, even Merle Haggard ends his song with the notion that \u201cthe good times ain\u2019t over for good\u201d. <\/p>\n Have a great day!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Unlike many people who live in my vicinity, I’ve never been through professional psychotherapy. This is not to say that I wouldn’t possibly benefit from it (and some people say that I probably need it!). 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