PBS INFECTED BY REALITY: I was watching “Cooking Under Fire” on PBS tonight, a “haute cuisine” version of a reality show. Yes, unfortunately the reality trend has also infected PBS. Sort of like Night of the Living Dead. You’d have hoped that PBS would have held out and would have stood up for something higher in terms of television quality. I thought that’s what PBS was there for. Guess not.

If you haven’t watched C.U.F., it’s a restaurant version of the Trump reality show. The winner gets a kitchen job in a fancy New York City restaurant. Tonight they were down to three candidates, all women. Before they set ‘em loose in the kitchen, the big guys made each of the young chefs say why they were better than the other two. So the first two went into the testosterone mode, “I’m the best; the other two stink, they’re too weak, too cutesy”.

The third one was named Autumn. Autumn Maddox from Seattle. She told the inquisition that she wasn’t better; she was different. The biggest of the big men – the guy who would hire the winner – did a double take. During the cook-off he asked her, what did you mean? She stood her ground – different, not better. Then came the inevitable judgement; sorry, babe, you wouldn’t last 5 minutes in my kitchen with a lame attitude like that. But the big man gave her one last chance – and she stuck to her story: different, not better. You can guess the rest.

For the past 35 years, I’ve known a guy named Ray. Ray drove fuel trucks and fixed engines most of his life. In a lot of ways, he’s awfully crude. But deep inside, Ray still has a soft heart. He still wants to see a better world. As I watched my girl from Seattle get trashed, I imagined Ray’s reaction: he’d get up from a deep slouch and with righteous indignation he’d shout “go **** yourself” at the judges. Ah, dear Autumn from Seattle; just another Cordelia, the Antigone of the reality shows. I shan’t forget you. I hope to get out to Seattle some day, and hope to get a table at your restaurant. I’m sure it will be a very civilized place, a place with very good food, and a place where a regular guy like my friend Ray could also feel comfortable.

And to PBS: next time you have your fund drive beg-a-thon, I’ll probably have a reaction similar to Ray’s.

ANOTHER IRONY: The Space Shuttle launch was cancelled yesterday because of a faulty electronic sensor. So far, NASA engineers can’t figure out the problem; they don’t know if the sensor itself crapped out, or has a wire or connection gone bad, or is it something wrong in a computer chip. Hey, I once had a car with a problem like that; the kind of problem that a dealer charges you a grand to work on, and after six months the problem comes right back again. Glad to know that even NASA can’t deal well with faulty sensors. Also glad that I’m not gonna be in the Discovery when they finally do send it up!