Time for a Random Roman Catholic thought: I recently had a thought or two about the Roman Catholic Church and its marriage annulment process. Actually, it wasn’t much of a thought, mostly just a memory. I was once married, many years ago. And me and the X were married in church by a Catholic priest (who later quit the ‘hood). Well, after things fell apart, I pretty much lost my enthusiasm for Catholicism, as I knew that the Church wasn’t very nice to those who might need a second chance at the altar. Admittedly, the Church does let a whole lot of people do it (i.e., get re-married after divorce); but it forces most of them into a rather peculiar kind of confession. I know, because I was asked to make that confession.

Some years after my divorce, I got involved with another Catholic girl, and we explored the idea of marriage — Catholic marriage, which was the only option for her (mainly because of her family). So I talked with some priests and sent my papers in to the local Marital Tribunal, as to get my previous marriage annulled. I tried to strike a balance between being truthful about the stresses and bad breaks that we encountered (and the mistakes we made in how we saw one another), and in being charitable to my ex (by not mentioning some things about her that probably would have gotten the Tribunal’s ear, but which I felt were none of the Church’s business). In a few weeks, I got a letter back from my “advocate”, basically telling me that everything I said was irrelevant and that I’d better take a plea to “immaturity” if I wanted to get anywhere.

Yea, immaturity. That’s the Catholic Church’s main theory about why so many marriages fail here in the US of A. Forgive them, Lord, for they know not what their arrested development can do. I never made that confession. There were and still are plenty of things wrong with me, but in general, immaturity is not one of them, (Sure, I’ve had my immature moments, but making a risky commitment to a difficult and complex woman was not the stuff of teenage romance novels). As you can guess, I never did get married again. But at least I kept a grain or two of my otherwise receding authenticity.

I suppose that the whole thing is a moot point by now. I just read that the Vatican is reigning in the American bishops and priests regarding marital annulment. No getting off light on a simple plea of immaturity anymore. Well, at least the Holy Fathers are giving up a bit of their “fatherhood”, by getting away from the parent-child viewpoint regarding annulment. From now on, they assume that you’re mature enough to know the rules regarding marriage. One shot and out. If it doesn’t work, then have a nice life with the Episcopaleans or Unitarians.

Or maybe with the Quakers, who I tried and didn’t stick with, but who still have a spot in my heart. Ah yes, “friends” forever.