People have various different theories about what life is all about. Some say it’s love. Some say it’s family. Some say it’s fun. Some say it’s money. Some say it’s power. Some say it’s beauty. Some seek “inner peace”. Philosophers come up with various other words and phrases based up various intellectual abstractions, like Pirsig‘s “quality”. Some philosophers say life is really out there, while others say it’s all in the mind. Psychologists agree with the latter, but want to know what the mind is getting at. And scientists, well, they’ll tell you about DNA and emergent self-organizing phenomenon and organic chemistry and evolutionary dynamics. So, life must be a pretty big thing, sort of like the elephant that 10 blind men touch and describe as 10 different things (none of them an elephant; e.g. the guy who grips the tail thinks it’s a snake, the guy with the ear thinks it’s a bird, etc.).

The word about life that works best for me is “intensity”. That word comes closest to summing up all of my longings and desires and frustrations in life. It seems able to corral most of the things that have been good for me and hold out most of the things that have been bad over the past 50 years. So yes, I’m an intensity junkie. In different ways, I think that we all are. Intensity for women often isn’t intensity for men, and vice versa. But both want to feel intense. For many women, intensity can be found in hearth and home and kinder. A lot of men get intense about sports, career achievement and status. Oh yea, and sometimes mechanical stuff, like cars or boats or stereos. Of course, there is some common ground. Like music. Both men and women get intense vibes when good music is being played. And money — although men alone seem to get satisfaction from the mere presence of dinero. Women generally seem to get intense about money only when it’s being traded for stuff, preferably stuff they like. And then there’s books and ideas and thinking. Certain men and women can get into that (but not enough, in my opinion).

And then there’s sexuality, of course. Sex is intensity city, at least when you’re young and full of the hormones that nature gave you in order to encourage your participation in the continuance of the species.

(Yes, I guess I’m not in a romantic mood right now).

So, what else inspires people and how do they relate to “intensity”? Well, political power makes certain people do extreme things. Sure, we all love to have power. How about fame? Oh yea, fame is a big inspiration too. People feel pretty intense when they know that a whole lot of people take them seriously. It’s quite an affirmation when a thousand or a million or a billion people know about you. Me, I’m still struggling in the 30 to 50 people range. I guess that fame is not going to be my path to intensity. For some people, achievement is the thing. Achievement often comes with power and fame and money, but sometimes it doesn’t. I think there are some pure examples of people who have achieved their life’s calling without gaining fame and fortune and power, and still feel pretty intense about it. Perhaps a guy who has managed to collect every baseball card from 1920 to present. He probably has some great stories about how he found that ’52 Duke Snider by accident in a dumpy old book store on the outskirts of Tulsa. It was his life work, even if he never even made the local newspaper.

Intensity doesn’t last. I’d guess that on average, most folk feel intense about life maybe 1 of every 50 hours that they are awake. Maybe some folk do better, and some worse.

Movies are popular because they make people feel intense for a little while. The arts in general are like that. When done well, an artist makes the viewer feel intense for a spell. Maybe the artist feels intense too.

Is there intensity at work? Maybe, but the conditions have to be just right. You have to be challenged, not bored. The task can’t be beyond your abilities, or you’ll get frustrated (I’ve been there). Also, it’s good when you know that what you’re doing is useful, that it’s helping someone somehow. Unfortunately, that right mix of things isn’t guaranteed. Too many people just work for the money, and seldom feel intense about what they’re doing. I’ve had some intense work days, but most of my work life has either been boring or chaotic or otherwise out of whack with regard to intensity.

Can you be sick or in fear or angry or confused and be intense? Well, sickness and fear and anger and confusion are intense experiences, but I sure don’t like them. But for some people, maybe that’s their only road to intensity. I think that one of Warren Zevon’s songs has a line that goes “I’d rather feel bad than feel nothing at all”. I guess it explains all of the gory horror movies that are out there. Some people seem to enjoy the feeling they get by watching other people treated like animals, slaughtered, mutilated, burned, crushed, humiliated, tortured, whatever. I guess it qualifies as a form of intensity, sort of a voyeuristic sadism.

There are short cuts to intensity, and they often aren’t good ones. Addictions are an example of intensity gone awry. Booze and drugs make you feel intense, very intense for a while. But the price you pay is extremely large (I’m not going to say “high” here). Food can also be an addiction. I know people who eat too much because that’s their easiest available source of intensity. The richest, most intense foods are often the most salty and fattening ones. A few moments of intensity are traded for a lifetime of obesity (and all the problems brought on by that). And promiscuous sex also gives you a quick hit of intensity followed by a big let-down. You know it ain’t real, you know it feels less intense each time.

So, wisdom and intensity are not always on the same page. Wisdom, I think, relates to intensity, but from a long-term perspective. It adds in considerations of other people and their access to intensity, e.g. your children, your husband or wife, your relatives, your neighbors, your fellow citizens and fellow planet dwellers.

But the big question for everyone is, just how much do I live for and trust others, whether abstract and organized (e.g., the US Government) or familiar and immediate (e.g. your parents). Does paying your taxes make you feel intense? Probably not. Does helping your child calm down after she or he has fallen and is all upset and crying make you feel intense? Perhaps.

If intensity is the essence of life, then the question remains, how best to get it. Intensity is really a deep philosophic question. It’s actually a rather mysterious thing (just like life itself). Too much of it isn’t good, and too little isn’t good either. You can try to buy it and store it up for the future, but it doesn’t always keep. What was intense for you yesterday may not be intense today; GROWTH and CHANGE must also be factored into the intensity calculation. And of course, relationship must be accounted for; when you experience something good with someone else, the intensity is usually amplified.

Well, so I have my own word for life, and it seems like a pretty good one. If intensity is the true key to life and not money or fame or achievement, then maybe there’s hope for all of us. Finding intensity without much money or fame or achievement doesn’t seem easy. Nonetheless, the search must go on, because maybe only 1 out of 10 people are going to have a whole lot of money or fame or achievement in life. If we can figure out how to have an intense life without all of that stuff, then maybe the billions of us who go to our graves without any great fanfare and are quickly forgotten will, nonetheless, have not lived and died in vain.