There’s an article in the January, 2003 Atlantic Magazine by Caitlin Flanagan about the lack of sex in many marriages today. Ms. Flanagan explains that most married women from the suburbs pursue full-time careers these days, but they still want to see their children brought up according to deeply engrained maternal insticts and domestic standards passed down from their ancestors. However, given the time demands on today’s two-earner family, husbands must share in most of the child-rearing and home-making tasks. And according to Ms. Flanagan, men generally do not carry out their domestic duties with Martha Stewart-like aplomb and a devotion to detail. Men, whether in or out of the home, tend to strictly define their tasks and carry them out to the letter; no less but no more. Women, despite our modern theories of feminist equality, still feel the need to properly feather the nest and raise the hatchlings. Thus, the woman’s urge is frustrated by the male’s no-nonsense approach to domestic tasks like feeding the kids and getting them ready for bed. Thus, a lot of women exact a sub-conscious (or not-so-sub-conscious) revenge by shutting down their desire for physical intimacy.

Wow. Marriage sounds pretty grim these days. Perhaps it’s just as well that my one attempt at domestic bliss with a career woman blew up just after launch (right around the time of the Challenger disaster, incidently). My generation was called on as the shock troops for a social revolution, a shock that won’t work itself out for several generations. Hopefully, women will learn to accept over time what they can and can’t expect from their “helpmates”, and men will be raised to do a bit better with house cleaning and such (I admittedly don’t feel any urge to alphabetize spices and wipe down lazy-susans, as Ms. Flannigan would like to see from her husband). Until then — well, it’s going to continue to be a good time for divorce lawyers.