There’s a good article in the April Atlantic by Jonathan Rauch about the struggles of caring for an aging parent (i.e., what Rauch went through with his father, who died this past December). Having been involved since 2001 in a somewhat similar situation (my mother, who died this past October), I wanted to make note of Mr. Rauch’s reflections. He concludes that senior caregivers are still mostly a “silent, invisible army” amidst millions of Americans in their fourties and fifties, most of whom are trying to get by in their own working lives while simultaneously working hard to raise their own children.

Given the experience he had over the past 12 months with his father, Mr. Rauch, a successful political affairs writer from the Washington DC area, now understands something of the sacrifices that a whole lot of unseen, uncelebrated people “out there” in the cities, towns and villages of America are making in order to comfort their parents in their decline. Now that he’s had a taste of what all these good folk silently bear, Mr. Rauch wants to put them “on the radar” of the movers and shakers of our political, cultural and economic institutions. He wants the news and entertainment media to give them more recognition, wants the government and other do-good establishments to give them more information and support, and wants employers to give them a break when their commitments call them away from the daily grind.

Well OK, Mr. Rauch, thanks. Having been a member  »  continue reading …

I had to take my car to my regular mechanic the other day for some servicing, and it gave me an occasion to ride a bus. Or, “the bus”, as we say here in Jersey. The bus route in question was the NJ Transit number 75, a rush-hour only express service from Newark to Butler. And I must say that I enjoyed the ride. NJT uses a big, smooth-riding MCI cruiser on this route, not just another Nova street-rattler. The ride was smooth and quiet, and open seats were plentiful. The driver made change, which doesn’t happen on most buses out of Newark. It was a nice day and the sun was shining through the big windows. Everyone on board was well-mannered, no radios or bad behavior. And the trips were more or less on time.

Riding local buses, though, is not easy (and not always pleasant! especially when they are standing room only, or you go through the wrong neighborhood). You have to invest some time and research into finding out when they run, where they stop, how much they charge, how and when you pay for the trip, etc. And even when you’re on board, if you’re a first time rider, you might not know the protocol to use when your destination nears and you want to get off. Maybe there’s a strip or button that you press on the bus to ring a bell telling the driver to get ready to stop. But when you’re not a regular, sometimes the driver still won’t stop; unless you walk right up front and tell him or her. And if you do, the driver might get a little surly about being told, implying that you are bothering her or him with unnecessary details. (And if you do happen to be on a local bus going thru the wrong neighborhood — just stay calm and quiet, stay loose, don’t move too much, and look at the floor or out the window mostly.)

Even getting on the bus is not always easy; some bus drivers  »  continue reading …